Kingdom Blue
by Rap's
Summary: Holy gods, I wrote a poem. And about my Angel no less. If you don't want to read the poem please read the message inside? It talks about SMT/CTR and other stuff I havent been able to say! Wah! I want the forums back!


-- Kingdom Blue --

Kingdom Blue (poem)  
Written by Rap's: (RaptorJNB@aol.com)

  
Badda' bing. *Nods* Okay all! Attention? Please? MAYBE!? *Watches everyone run along and prance amongst the LOD fanfictions.* HELLO!??!?!  
  
Albert: *Tap's foot* No, no. Your going to have to bring out the flame throwers if you want them to listen to your message. May I? *begins hefting a flamethrower through the door.* Mwahahaha.... Burn... BURN....  
  
Rap's: ... Albert?  
  
Albert: What?  
  
Rap's: ... I love you! ^_^  
  
Albert: .... *runs away screaming*  
  
Rap's: hehhe.... er... yeah. *coughs* WELL- now that I saved you from a burning, will everyone please listen to me a moment!?  
  
All: *prance*  
  
Rap's: OKAY then. I'll just TALK to MYSELF. HAH!!!!  
  
In basic, like I mentioned in my summery, this fanfic/poem doesn't only contain a poem! because our forums here at Fanfiction.net have been deactivated, I needed another way to tell everyone about stuff you may want to know. After I get this all off my chest, you can then read the poem "Kingdom Blue" if ya' wanna. ^_^ A two purpose posting! WHOOO HOOOO!!!!!  
  
First of all, I am very sorry to those of you waiting for my new chapters on SMT and CTR. I actually have a good excuse this time, too! my imac completely DIED as of about a month ago; and I have been unable to access or work on my stories since then. Currently it is at a shop and should be returning to my care about Wednesday of next week. (10/10/01)  
  
When it DOES return, I will be able to post my new completed chapters of SMT and CTR, including a new story about lavitz falling in love, one involving Emily, and a very, VERY dark, nasty and depressing story about the first time Albert was forced to kill another person. THAT idea I've had for awhile. I got the incentive to write it after the tragedy that unfolded on September 11th. As a former resident of New York and having lost a good friend in the disaster... well... *shakes her head sadly* You can imagine my mood over the last couple of weeks.  
  
But away from that... (I really don't want to depress both myself and you guys...)  
  
I guess that's about it?  
  
The poem contained below is a... well- it's directed towards Albert's emotions during his youth. (Like about 7 or 8?) and somewhat grows with him, but I really didn't take it past his reaching about 15. The person referred to in the poem is Alexia (his mother- or so I've named her in my fanfics) What you might find interesting about this poem is that I wrote it as much for me as I did him. I'm at that... point in my life where things are really starting to change; and I'm scared to death that I can't.... gods- how do I explain? My mother has always been this indestructible caretaker of our family, and as the years pass she just seems to become weaker and weaker; like life just won't let her go and relax and ENJOY herself. I know that, as her daughter, I am becoming responsible of our family and their well being. Very soon its going to be all on me, and it's damned frightening. I always thought I could handle everything, and that I was ready... but now?  
  
I mean- what if I cant do it? what if I mess up? How can I protect the ones I love? This is my family!  
  
It is, quite literally, like being heir to a throne, and I just wish I could stay a princess forever. I'm... well... scared of growing up? Scared of failing? So much is going to ride on ME... and damn it- if I SCREW UP then I'm effecting everyone I care about!!!  
  
Ugh- maybe I don't even know. I just wrote it and... I hope ya' review.   
  
**********  
  
  
"Kingdom Blue"  
  
  
I was small and ever ready  
to hear your wisdom and truthful words.  
You taught me all about our kingdom  
from knowledge vast as ancient worlds and  
I was content to be your child.  
The innocent heir to a future throne.  
I thought I was ready to take your wing  
and lead us all so very true.  
  
But years I've now spent watching you.  
  
Your strength has lost it's vibrant hue and I  
*can* see.  
Your head is not so high.  
You take my hand and slowly fall  
it's time for you to die.  
  
I rush forwards to help you stand  
I wish everything to be all right  
Please don't leave me here alone.  
I'm not ready. I was never right.  
  
And so the crown is passed to thee.  
So many hopes and dreams are now on me?  
I gently sink to one small knee and vow  
"I'll do my best."  
  
But although I smile and stand so firm  
my soul is wounded and frightened. Burned.  
Because I DON'T know.  
Because I'm scared.  
Because I feel so unprepared.  
  
  
**********  
  
See ya's! I hope to be back in full swing shortly. *Huggles for all*  
-Rap's  
  
  
  
  
  
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